My Struggle With Fear
I spent almost all of my childhood and many of my adult years in a place of fear. For me, fear stemmed from the verbal abuse I experienced from my mother, coupled with the bullying I endured in elementary school. These two experiences silenced my voice and paralyzed me from walking in purpose. I was afraid of success, as well as, failure because of the rejection and abandonment I experienced. I had no idea who I was. I never thought I could be used by God to do anything significant. Fear also produced shyness, which stopped me from trusting and talking to others.
Fortunately, God had people to prophetically declare over me, beginning in my childhood, that I was a prophet and I would be used mightily by God to bring healing and deliverance to others. It was much easier for me to believe the lie that I was no good, I would never amount to anything, and that I was not blessed. Rather than to believe the truth of God’s word which declared, I was fearfully and wonderfully made, created in the likeness and image of God, and I had been chosen by Him before I was formed in my mother’s womb and my destiny was great. I’m grateful there was always at least one person, at different stages of my life, to see in me what I could not see in myself and would not allow me to stay in a defeated place
My Journey To Wholeness
The renewing of my mind to believe that I was indeed who God said, was a journey. This healing process involved me accepting God’s unconditional love, renewing my mind every day in the truth of the word of God, (which destroyed the lies I believed about myself), and then allowing God to use me to bless others. Many times, I had to do it past my fears. By nature, I am the classic introvert. However, God has used my husband LaJun, to teach me I could not lead based on my introvert personality of being comfortable being alone and silent. I’m continuing to learn how to be all things to all people by obeying God no matter what. This is an ongoing process of renewing my mind and being fearless when I feel afraid.
I’ve gone through many challenging life altering situations which constantly remind me of God’s faithfulness. I’ve lost a child who was 3 years old, I went through a divorce, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and sent home to die, I then had to resign from my almost 24-year nursing career. BUT GOD! The word “but” is used to introduce a phrase or clause contrasting what has already been said. It indicates the story isn’t over yet. But, says even though there was a prior challenge, there is about to be a present breakthrough. Yes, that is what I went through, BUT God Himself, gave me a breakthrough in each of these situations, allowing me the opportunity to come into my promised greater. God completely healed me! While on my deathbed He told me, I could not die because my promise was still alive and then went on to say I was going to get married. Just over a year later, I met this mighty man of God and two months later, we were married Suddenly. I am now in full-time ministry and a successful business owner. I was an employee but now I am an employer. I am the evidence that God does heal and restore.
THIS IS MY WHY! Now I know more about why I was born and why I could not die, Why God chose me and why others rejected me, why my gifts are important, and why my voice is valuable. This is WHY I started Fearless Women Global, this is WHY I mentor women, this is WHY I preach the gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the world.